The Early Sexualization of children

The more recent incidents of gang rape (even of young girls) in the USA has prompted me to write something about the 'early sexualization' of children, particularly girls. We hear numerous news reports and documentaries on television and the internet about the early sexualization of children, and how girls are under pressure to look sexy and beautiful, and to please men and boys (even from a very early age).

Girls get 'mixed messages' about what they should be wearing, how they should act around boys and so forth, and they don't want to look like 'dags'. And then, if something happens to them, we blame them for their own situation because they dressed and/or behaved a certain way, and how the poor guy gets the 'wrong idea'.

And it's not just the girls who are also pressured to behave in a certain way: boys also get conflicting messages about how to behave around each other and with girls. For instance, if they don't act 'macho', they are branded as 'gay', and even if they do, it doesn't necessarily guarantee they will be respected. And when they are 'challenged' by girls, they are obviously led to believe that it is a personal 'affront' and their peers will egg them on.

However, I still hold the belief that no matter what age the attackers were, they should still be held accountable for what they do - especially the older ones who are at, or above, the 'age of consent'. They are 'old enough to know better', and they need to learn to get over the fact that not every female in their vincinity is going to want to have sex with them, even the ones who allegedly 'lead them on' or dress provocatively.

I personally believe there always have been concerns by parents, teachers, clergy etc about kids 'growing up too early'. I remember my adolescent and pre-adolescent years I was very heavily influenced by punk music. My parents, when they heard about punk rock and their 'four letter words', they were concerned about its influence on me. They also told me, 'You can wear your hair however you like but be prepared for people to laugh at you'. As if I 'had it coming' because of how I looked or dressed.

But not all kids who become sexualized, swear, abuse females are necessarily influenced by heavy music; especially these days when rap music, with its 'coarse language', sexual references and mysogynistic themes makes alot of the punk and metal bands of the late 1970's and early 1980's sound almost 'pious' in comparison (the very ones that I used to listen to alot of the time).

And that there needs to be a happy medium between protecting your child (when they need to be protected) and letting them 'grow up' (because parents/guardians will eventually have to face up to the fact that children in their care may well come to be something that the 'grownups' might not like). This may also include wearing clothes that the previous generation might not approve, listening to a certain kind of music that they might be offended by or doing one's hair a certain way.

It might be true to some extent that yes, people will get the 'wrong idea', especially about girls and women who are dressed a certain way; and parents and other adults obviously believe they are looking out for the kids in their care. But what alot of parents and older people fail to realize that is regardless of what kids decide to wear, whether it is conservative or 'out there'/'provocative'/too revealing, they are still going to get a 'ribbing' from their peers.

And, back on the subject of the 11-year-old rape victim, I look back on a time when I was that age, where even though I did listen to heavy music, there is no way I would have imagined myself in a situation like this. But I am not this girl - no harm came to me like this, and I am thankful.